Why a Support Group is Important
When Escaping From an Abuser!
My main priority in being a leader of Hope Ministries is to help women in an abusive relationship or women that have come from one to get healthy emotionally. To gain knowledge that will help them to grow stronger and to change what they believe about themselves while learning to stop engaging with crazy making behavior that has been tearing them apart for so long.
Finding a support group is a vital part of the process in getting away from your abuser and getting healthy. Breaking away from an abusive relationship is very difficult. There are many obstacles that play a role in causing the difficulty. I will write more about that in a future post but meanwhile you can read my post, Why doesn’t she just leave this abusive relationship?
So why is the support group so important. Well, there are a few reasons. The main reason is that most abused women have been convinced that they are crazy and that some how they cause their partner to abuse them. They have been isolated and feel that they are all alone. They may think that no one will understand why they put up with it or why they stay.
I have met with women many times one on one for support. I share my story with them but their story is not always my story. I share with them things that might be helpful for them to do or not do based on their situation and often times in the beginning they don’t listen. In the beginning they are often in denial. They often feel shame and only share just enough but don’t really tell you how bad it really is.
In the support group, we always have everyone share their story with the new ladies in the group. This is very impactful because it is at this point that these women first begin to realize that they are not alone and they are not crazy.
When I was going to this support group for support, it was my lifeline. It was how I got through each week. I attended the group every week and only missed once when out of town and a couple times when I had surgery. I often tell the ladies in my group that if I had not found that group, I honestly couldn’t say I would not still be with my abusive husband.
It was not just support, I learned a lot, I was able to help other ladies in the group, I began to grow stronger and to learn not to engage with my abuser. I learned how to get away from my abuser when it began to happen. No matter what I was going through, I always had someone to share what I was going through with that knew what I was going through and was not going to judge me.
A support group is a safe place to tell everything you have been going through with out shame. A place where chances are, someone sitting and listening has had a very similar experience. Where you won’t be judged and what you say doesn’t leave that room. A place where you will not be told what to do. You will hear options and you will get encouragement but you will be supported through your choices.
I have said it many times and I will continue to say it. If you are in an abusive relationship, it is up to you to do something about it. You can complain all you want but until you take steps to make a change, it is not going to change. No one can make that choice but you.
Going to a support group is a major step that you can take to help you make that change and to stick to that change. Your support group will help you keep it real. They will keep the reality in your face and they can do that just by talking about their experience. They will hold you accountable! Again, not by telling you what to do because it is your life and you get to choose. They will do it by making you think and again, asking if you want what happened to them, to happen to you. When you are trying to break away, they will help you come up with a safe plan. They will think of things that you will not and they will be there for you.
Getting support raises your chances of breaking from your abuser. It also helps you to grow stronger and to become healthy and helps you to keep it from happening to you again.
I encourage you to seek out a support group. Of course, your safety comes first so always be careful. Get in contact with someone that can help you get connected. If you are in the Kansas City area, you can contact me on my if you have any questions or need to talk to me about Hope Ministries.
Peace and Blessings,