Hello my friend, 

One in three women will experience domestic violence at some point in their lifetime.  Every day, three women in this country are killed by their husbands or boyfriends.  

You will hear me say this over and over because it is so true.  Knowledge is Power!  Avoid becoming a statistic by being smart and recognizing the warning signs of an abusive relationship before it can even begin.  Make a decision ahead of time to end it before it begins, no matter how charming they may seem.  

The following are some indicators of potentially abusive relationships. It should be noted, however, that just because a person may match one or more of these characteristics does not define them as an abuser. These red flags are just that—warning signs that are worth paying attention to. You should question entering into a relationship with a partner who matches the warning signs.  

“Red flags” include someone who:

1.  Wants to move too quickly into the relationship.

2.  Early in the relationship flatters you constantly, and seems “too good to be true.

3.  “Wants you all to himself; insists that you stop spending time with your friends or family

4.  Insists that you stop participating in hobbies or activities, quit school, or quit your job.

5.  Does not honor your boundaries. Is excessively jealous and accuses you of being unfaithful. Wants to know where you are all of the time and frequently calls, emails, and texts you throughout the day.

6.  Criticizes or puts you down; says you are crazy, stupid, and/or fat/unattractive, or that no one else would ever want or love you.

7.  Takes no responsibility for his or her behavior and blames others.

8.  Has a history of abusing others. Blames the entire failure of previous relationships on his or her former partner; for example, “My ex was totally crazy.”

9.  Takes your money or runs up your credit card debt.

10.  Rages out of control with you but can maintain composure around others. 

Victims who find themselves in abusive relationships should also be aware of the warning signs that indicate an escalating situation.  There is a shortening of time between abusive incidents, along with threats of physical or bodily  harm.  Another indicator is when the abuser obtains the means by which the threats are made, such as purchasing a gun. Bottom line: If you feel threatened by your partner, don’t wait to get help.  It could be a difference between life and death.  

Abuse is never the fault of the victim and it can be hard for many reasons, including safety, to end the relationship. If you experience these “red flags,” reach out for help.   If you have any questions or just need to talk, please send me a message.  My contact info is at the top of my blog.   

Peace and Blessings, 

Ruthie