How I Ended Up Here!

If you have read my goals for this blog on the home page, you know the purpose of this blog. What I didn’t tell you is how I ended up here, writing this post for a blog about domestic violence.

I was a victim of domestic violence.  Through the grace of God and the support of others I not only escaped and survived but I have become empowered to help others to do the same.

I began working with victims of domestic violence in June of 2013 by co-leading a domestic violence support group and the sole leader since January of 2015.

God put a desire deep inside me a long time ago to make a difference, helping others, I just didn’t see myself being able to do that.  I am pretty shy and if you put me in a group discussion with people I not only would not say much of anything but my stomach would feel pretty upset.

I had some pretty bad things happen before my experience with domestic abuse and that desire was there than.  I guess it was not the right time or the right circumstances. Honestly, I think mostly I had a lot of growing to do.  I did a lot of growing over the years but God used my experience with domestic abuse to really begin to show me that He had big plans for me.  

Don’t get me wrong!  I am not saying it was God’s plan for me to experience domestic abuse.  I am saying that God used that experience for good and through that experience He began to show me in different ways that I could do something like this with His help.  One day I heard a pastor from my church say that God does not send the equipped but He equips those that He sends.

That is exactly what He has done with me.  I do my best to walk in obedience with God and when I feel He is leading me to do something…..I do it, even if I do it kicking and screaming.  He always comes through for me and sometimes I think to myself, wow, did that come out of my mouth?  I know it is not me,  it is Him.   I am just His vessel!  

I am not going to share my full experience of domestic abuse with you in this post but I will be sharing it with you later.  When I was in my abusive marriage, God led me to this very support group that I am leading now.  I thank God every day for that because that group was my weekly life line.

While in that group, I was being put through hell at home.  I was tormented almost daily.  There were moments that were better but the torment was unbearable.  To my surprise, some of the women began to look up to me and put me in a place that I didn’t feel that I deserved.  I didn’t feel that I was any kind of a hero but I knew that God had to be doing something. They saw it, I didn’t, but God was slowly working on me.

My divorce became final on January 16, 2013.  That was devastating to me even though I escaped from a monster.  I know if you have been abused, you understand that,  I also know that if you have never been in an abusive relationship, you don’t get it.  If you don’t get it, keep coming back to my blog and become more aware.  That is part of the purpose of this blog, awareness.

In the time I have been a leader in this group it has made me realize a few things.  Here are three of them!

Awareness is a huge issue!  

Before I became a victim of domestic violence I had no idea of what a problem it was and I certainly didn’t expect to become a part of it.  Awareness is a huge problem.  When I started attending the group and getting help and learning more about it, I began to see it all around me.  At the time 1 in 4 women were in a relationship with domestic violence.  Now, that has changed to 1 in 3 women.  Look around you folks, every 3rd woman you encounter is most likely being abused or has been abused.  

The need is bigger than the supply!  

It is very difficult to break away from an abusive relationship.  It takes a lot of courage and support.  Often times in these relationships women are put in place of such control that it is nearly made impossible to escape.  They end up leaving with no money, no car, no job and no where to go.  Sometimes they barely escape with the clothes on their back.   There are resources out there but the need is so great that it is not enough to meet the need.  

Legal Aid doesn’t cut it!  

I know legal aid helps a lot of people but lets face it, they are over loaded already.  Women often come out of these situations with no money to live on much less an attorney.  I have seen it on more than one occasion where a woman is abused but ends up being the one that gets charged or with a restraining order against them because they don’t know how to protect themselves legally.  

I have had it on my heart for awhile to start a blog centered around domestic violence.  Mostly this idea began to develop because people just don’t know about this support group.  That grieves me because that group helped save my life.  I already had a blog called my Empowerment Blog because my goal was to empower others.  I am now combining these two blogs together with my primary goal to help domestic violence victims and to educate other as well.  

That brings me back to my original reason for this post, How I ended up here.   Last night I just started setting up this blog, not really knowing for sure if I would do anything with it.  It just kind of happened and somehow I know I am suppose to do this.  I can’t say I will do great at first, I may not even be consistent, but I will be doing something and that is what I think matters the most.  

The most difficult part will be my next blog post, my story, my experience of domestic abuse.  This will be difficult for me not only because I am a private person but because it will be out there for the world to see, to know.  Not because I want everyone to know but because I want to help make a difference.  If I only help one woman it is worth it.  

So welcome to the beginning of my journey with my blog “Hope For Domestic Violence Victims”  and please keep coming back because this will be a work in progress.

Please share because you care and because you know someone in a relationship with domestic violence whether you know who it is or not.

One more thing!  If you live in the Kansas City area and want more information about Hope Ministries or you have any questions, please contact me and I will respond as soon as possible.  You can also check out my resources page for more help.  

Peace and Blessings,
Ruthie

September 13, 2017

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