Hello there,

I am so glad you are here.  One of the best ways to help us to stay out of an abusive relationship is to learn about it.  No matter what your situation, Knowledge is Power! Many find themselves in abusive relationships and don’t even have a name for it.

Here are 9 signs that you are in an abusive relationship! 

1.  Every day is an Emotional Roller Coaster! 

Do you find yourself thinking your significant other is like a Jekyll and Hyde?  One minute he is loving and the next, punishing or tormenting you.  This is a HUGE red flag. Manipulation plays a huge role in abusive relationships.  You never know what you will get.  If you feel like you are always walking on egg shells, never knowing what who he is going to be, that is abuse.

2.  They isolate you from others!

This is very common among abusers. Having relationships with friends and family outside your significant other is healthy.  Abusers have more power and control when they get you isolated and alone. If you find this is happening to you, there’s a problem.  Don’t let them tell you otherwise.

3.  Issues with jealousy!  

An emotionally abusive partner or spouse isn’t just jealous of the people you’re closest with but they can be jealous of people that don’t even exist.  They can be obsessive about the idea that you are cheating on them while stocking you and watching your every move.  A secure person doesn’t need to be jealous because he trust you and the relationship you’ve created together.

4.  Arguments tend to escalate quickly! 

Occasional arguments are not uncommon in relationships, and are not always unhealthy but arguments in emotionally abusive relationships are. These arguments tend to escalate quickly and have no end point. Even day-to-day conversation can escalate to physical abuse, so beware.

5  You’re nervous around them!  

Abusive partners and spouses will use any tactic they can to keep you down, including threats of violence as a way to assert their dominance over you. They have power over you by keeping you off balance and afraid.  If you feel any form of fear around the person you’re in a relationship with, that is abuse and it would be helpful to seek help in getting away from this relationship.

6.  Constant cut downs! 

No matter what you do in the relationship, it’s never right and it’s never enough. When you talk to them, especially about your accomplishments, they put you down and make you feel small for the decisions you made.  They belittle you and make you feel small and insignificant.

7.  You go out of your way to make them happy! 

Nothing’s wrong with wanting to keep your significant other happy but when you find yourself pleading for their happiness, there’s an issue. You may even find yourself staying silent even when you’re angry.  You may even cut your family and friends out of your life, people you love and care about, just to keep the peace.

8.  You feel trapped!

Helplessness is an ever-present emotion in emotionally abusive relationships. Often times, abusive partners will try controlling all aspects of your life, including personal items like your car and phone and what you do with your spare time. They may keep important documents locked up, you name off of anything you might need to aid in keeping you trapped.  It you’re feeling trapped, it might be helpful to seek help.  You are not alone and there is help for you.

9.  You start believing that you are the problem!  

After all the arguments and put downs, you start believing that you’re not worth any more than the abuse. This is simply a manipulation tactic and a way to justify the abuse. You’re not crazy or the problem. You’re worth so much more.  Getting in a support group with other women in your shoes is a huge step to getting your self worth back and realizing that you are not the crazy one.

I hope and pray this is helpful for you.  If you have never been in an abusive relationship, great, use these signs to keep you from it.  If you find after reading these signs that you are experiencing these kinds of things, please, seek help.  Contact me if I can answer any questions or help you in anyway.

Peace and Blessings,
Ruthie

September 14, 2017